hope.: 2010

I am 22 years old. If I had to put those 22 years in one word. It would be happiness. I had so much fun with everyone and everything I encountered. Now when I am arriving extremely close to the "real world" I feel like my happiness is being threatened. My happiness isn't threatened by the thought of working for the next 40 years. I played youth professional and D1 collegiate soccer and still managed to get very good grades, I enjoyed every minute of it but I still worked extremely hard. I think the fact is our whole society is so infatuated with being successful and making money... Nothing is about happiness... I constantly have the same conversation with my parents, peers and random people of what I am going to do when I am done with school... My answer has been the same for about 9 months.. "SOMETHING THAT MAKES ME HAPPY" Every time I say that answer I get the same odd look like my answer is wrong... I feel like I need to say something that will qualify me as successful. Would being happy be qualified as successful?? I have a different look at bums lately... It amuses me actually...... What if they are happy living that way of life? Would you consider that a successful life??

I have many dreams and things I want to accomplish in my life but I want to be happy while accomplishing them.. I decided I am not going to get a job that just will pay the bills and make me a "successful" working man. I am going to do something that inspires me and gives me that happiness that soccer gave me. If I end up being far away from the people that I care about and love, the people that give me this happiness in my life I know I will stay very intimate with them. These people give me the true happiness in my life.. I pray that I will be able to be close to them and enjoy bocce ball, listening to music, smoking/drinking together, even watching our own kids grow up with each other. I hope the people I care about realize what life really is and not get caught up in the "expectations" "titles" or "anticipations" of what we should do or be like. I want them to do what makes them happy... I really hope they appreciate the love and happiness we share in our relationships because I sure do. I will never forget the people that have given me the happiness that I had the pleasure of experiencing in my lifetime. I appreciate every minute of it..

My desire to be happy has given me an outlook I feel many miss in their early stage of life.... I think I got lucky with finding this out at such a young age. This desire rooted in me because the loss of many loved ones I lost in my life that constantly loved me and loved to make me happy. I miss it. I miss them. I want to do the same for every person I care about.. I want them to realize how special my love for them is because it will give them happiness in their life that I don't want them to miss out on.

I want to thank the people that have given me this happiness in my life. The people that have been with me my whole life, or a couple of years, a couple of months or just even a couple of weeks... It is something I will cherish until my heart stops.....

"I've got nothing to do today but be happy" - jd